My Favorite Books of 2021

Stephen King said, "If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot." In my endeavor to improve my writing, I wanted to read a lot in 2021 (plus, reading is just fun!). I'm happy to say, I surpassed my goal of reading 70 books this year. Because I read so many books, quite a few stood out for me. I can't sing the praises of every book I read, but I can point out a few.

1. Ring Shout by P. Djèlí Clark - In this novella, Clark portrays the KKK as literal monsters who are hellbent on destroying the world. The heroes of this novella fight the KKK with love, weapons, and the ring shout, a religious experience derived from African dance.

2. Educated by Tara Westover - This is the story of a woman who grew up in a survivalist family in Idaho and who didn't experience formal education until college. Her childhood was anything but ordinary, and the way she pursued education in every sense of the word makes for a read you can't put down.

3. The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones - The horror in this novel builds slowly and quietly until it leaps out at you like the ultimate jump scare in your favorite scary movie. And you'll never look at elk the same again.

4. Beach Read by Emily Henry - This romance novel features the "enemies to lovers" trope. A romance writer and a literary writer meet up years after they were rivals in college and, in an attempt to overcome their writers' block, decide to write in one another's genre. This novel is perfect for readers of romance, and as a writer, I found it absolutely delightful and full of truth about the craft and the way people regard genres other than their own.

5. Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman - Time is our most precious commodity. We only have so much of it (only four thousand weeks, if we live an average lifetime). How are we going to spend our time? This is a book on productivity, but not in the way you think. It's not about cramming something into every second of every day, but rather, it leads you to think about the best ways to spend your time. What matters most to you? How are you going to use your precious four thousand weeks? There's no pressure to do more, but to use your time well.

6. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak - This is not a new book, but I hadn't read it until this year. Up front you know terrible things are going to happen to the characters. I mean, Death is one of the narrators! But that doesn't matter because Liesel is so compelling, and the people in her life are so compelling, that you must absolutely know more about them. Keep your box of tissues handy.

7. Kindred by Octavia E. Butler - This is another on my list that isn't new, but again, I hadn't read it before. This is a classic science fiction book about an African-American woman who travels back in time to when her white, slave-owning ancestor needs saving. Talk about a complicated relationship and family dynamics. This is an excellent time travel story that portrays the life of slaves in America in the 1800s, and the way we all carry the legacy of slavery and cruelty with us.

8. Hail Mary by Andy Weir - I hesitated about picking up this book because I was expecting another The Martian. But while the main character, Ryland, has witty interior thoughts and dialogue and it seems that he'll be alone throughout most of the book--much like the set up for The Martian--things take a turn early on. I don't want to spoil it, but this book gripped me and ended up making me cry.

9. The Cold Dish by Craig Johnson - Here's the final not-new book on my list. I really enjoyed the show Longmire and had considered picking up the first book about Walt Longmire for a while. It's sort of a murder mystery, sort of a police procedural, sort of a western. Walt is an educated, thoughtful sheriff in Wyoming. He's a complicated guy. And Johnson does a great job of portraying Wyoming to the point where the landscape becomes a character and a complication for the story.

10. Her Honor: My Life on the Bench... What Works, What's Broken, and How to Change It by LaDoris Hazzard Cordell - Judge Cordell was the first African-American woman on the Superior Court in northern California. She served on a variety of cases, from small claims court to mental health cases, divorces to custody cases, juvenile court to murder trials. She saw it all and has great insight into how to make the justice system better. This book was eye opening in how the legal system works and what it's like being a judge.

This list represents a variety of books, from fiction to non-fiction, romance to horror, science fiction to mysteries. I enjoy reading across all genres because there's entertainment in them all, and something to learn from them all. Please share what your favorite books of the year were!

Filling the Well During Pandemics

 There's a term I learned at the Odyssey Writing Workshop years ago--filling the well. It means, essentially, that you fill your life with experience, ideas, moments, and anything that will go on to serve as story fodder. In the past I've used, as inspiration: things my son has said, new places I've visited (like a Yucatan cenote), current events, strong emotions that stuck with me. Now, this isn't to say you should do things for the sake of writing stories. But anything can become an idea, which can become a story.

Devil's Punchbowl on Oregon Coast

What happens during a pandemic, though? For the better part of a year and a half, I found my world vastly constricted. I worked, I went home, I hurried through my shopping. I no longer lingered in coffee shops, writing new words or overhearing interesting conversations. I no longer ventured out to new places. I no longer met up with friends. I continued to dip into the well, but I wasn't putting much back into it.

One of my goals for this year was to write twelve short stories. I've written nine, and this month I tried writing the tenth. I came at it one way, then another, moving from a humorous satire to something much darker. Neither worked. I finish much of what I write, but not everything. I coax my stories along, but sometimes it feels more like I'm beating my head against the wall, and when I reach that point, as I did with this story, I reluctantly stop. I have to admit to myself that I might not reach that desired number twelve. I have to remind myself that, while I've done some traveling and returned to the dojo this year, I have not yet returned to normal, and I'm trying to draw on a well that is still running low.

What I'm going to do instead is finish up George Saunder's A Swim in a Pond in the Rain, in which he shares some of what he teaches his students about the greats in Russian literature. I am listening to it as an audiobook, which I'm really enjoying. Different narrators read the stories, and Saunders himself, with a wry bit of humor from time to time, reads his lessons. I find listening to the stories and to Saunders seems to let the lessons and the words themselves seep in better. Already I'm looking at my own fiction a little differently, and I'm looking at what I read a little differently.

This week I wrote in a coffeeshop for the first time in nearly two years. It was absolute bliss, even if I set aside what I wrote because it wasn't working. I'm going to do that again, toy around with some ideas, absorb the conversations I overhear, and people watch. I'm going to fill the well a little more, and then try again. It's all any of us can do.

A Year of Meditating

 In November 2020, I took up meditation.

I wrote about it before, shortly after I started. I had a strange reaction to meditation initially. As I wrote back then, I felt a lot of rage and was much more quick to anger than usual. I thought I was doing something wrong. But as it turns out, when you turn attention upon yourself, your mind, and your thoughts, of course that's very uncomfortable.

At this point, I've meditated nearly every day for about a year. I've listened to lectures on meditation. I've done my own mini retreat at home. And I've learned a few things.

First, once I got past the initial extreme discomfort of meditating, which led to so much anger, I found myself getting better at recognizing thoughts and emotions as they popped up, which meant they had less power over me. I became less reactive, which was most noticeable on social media. It's been pretty great, to be honest.

Second, I became a little less wrapped up in myself and felt more compassion for people around me. I was kinder. I had less of a tendency to judge other people and was more forgiving. I've been more generous with my money and my time. That, too, has been pretty great.

Third, I've been more grateful overall and have spent more time noticing the everyday things that make me happy and bring me joy. It's usually something as simple as sitting on my couch with my family with the fireplace on in the winter, or having an uninterrupted stretch of time to read a good book, or watching the gold and red leaves dance on the wind during autumn like fairies. This has also been great!

Fourth, my attention span has improved. Oh, I still get distracted, and I think ultimately I need to cut social media completely out of my life to really see significant improvement, but meditation has helped me focus better.

While I've meditated for a year at this point, I feel like I'm still just scratching the surface. It's certainly a lifelong endeavor, and it's hard to remember to meditate during super stressful situations or throughout the course of a busy day. But I'm gradually getting there. I would like to go on a short retreat one of these days (with other people around, OMG!), or even do another mini retreat on my own.

Some resources I've found helpful:

Waking up with Sam Harris--This is the app I use daily. There's an introductory series as well as other special series, plus a daily meditation. There are guests, a Q&A with Sam, and other tidbits of wisdom.

Ten Percent Happier Podcast with Dan Harris--No relation to Sam Harris. There are lots of great guests, meditations, and other resources here.

Thich Nhat Hanh Foundation--Lots of great resources here, including How To's, apps, trainings, and more.

2021 Reading Challenge and Bullet Journal

Stephen King has a lot of great advice for writers. One of his pearls of wisdom is, "If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot." So for this year, I wanted to read more books. Initially I thought I would set 52 as a goal for myself, so that's what I wrote in my bullet journal. But when I went to Goodreads to set my challenge, that wild, impulsive part of me entered the number 70 as a goal for the year.

I hadn't read as much as usual the past few years. Well, maybe I read a lot last year, but I wasn't keeping track. Hell, I was barely functioning. It was 2020. 'Nuff said. But before that, I hadn't read as much fiction as usual. So I wanted to push myself to read more (and consequently, get off social media more often).

Now, bullet journals were new to me last year. I considered starting one a few years ago, but when I looked at what they entailed, my brain started spinning, and I plugged my ears with my fingers and started saying, "Lalalalala, I can't heeeaaarrrr you!" I would just keep track of things on my phone, thank you very much.

But that phone calendar deletes stuff after a while. So I look back, trying to figure out when I did something, and... it's not there. But bullet journals are forever. Unless the house burns down. Ahem, pardon my anxiety talking. See above reference to the year 2020.

Some friends showed me that bullet journals could, indeed, be helpful for tracking things, and that they needn't be overwhelming, or done a certain way. They could literally track anything. Anything! So I went hog wild and made graphs for running (I just like graphs, okay?) and little squares to track my writing, and to track practicing kendo, and for meditation when I took that up last year (again, 2020, amiright?).

For this year, then, I made a pretty two page spread and drew in my own shelves, and 52 books with blank spines. It looked like a lot! I started questioning my impulsive decision to publicly announce my intention to read 70 books on Goodreads. But then I started filling in those spines. Each time, I had this little visceral reaction of satisfaction and enjoyment, much like collecting stickers from the teacher when I was in elementary school. This reinforced my desire to read, which reinforced my desire to not check social media quite so often.

I eventually ran out of space in my 2021 bullet journal because I messed up some pages and overestimated what I would need for some. That in itself is an accomplishment, the not freaking out about the journal not being perfect and exactly "as it should be." It's messy in some parts, pretty in others, and simply functional in still others. But the two page spread where I tracked books is among my favorite out of the entire journal. My filling in 52 spines coincided with my running out of room in this journal, which felt quite satisfying. And now I've started a new journal and a new two page spread for tracking books I've read.

Since I've already blown my original 52 book goal out of the water, I think I might possibly end up reaching that 70 book goal. I have to admit, some books have been consumed while doing errands, driving, etc on libro.fm, which, by the way, is a way to buy audiobooks while supporting local independent bookstores instead of that giant company with the passive aggressive smile on its boxes. I've also picked up some novellas along the way. But, to counterbalance the novellas, I've also read some doorstoppers, so it all comes out even in the end.

Analysis of Causal Chain

 One of the weaknesses in my writing is the lack of a causal chain. There aren't all that many resources out there on causal chain, but it ties in strongly to plot, character, and beats. Since it's one of my weaknesses, I might not do such a great job describing what it is, but here goes.

Character action should unfold organically, with one decision leading to a consequence that prompts another decision, leading to another consequence, and so on and so forth, ideally squeezing the protagonist into a corner and leading to character growth. Patricia Wrede describes it as dominoes falling. In other words, the story should unfold as if there's no other way it could possibly happen. Sounds easy, right? *cue hysterical laughter*

My stories suffer from an acute lack of causal chain. Sometimes I think things are happening organically, but readers will tell me the plot seems manipulated. So I decided to delve a little more deeply into a novella I've enjoyed before, namely All Systems Red by Martha Wells. I remembered it being fast-paced, with a likable protagonist. A novella offers more opportunity to study causal chain than a short story would, but it's not a massive undertaking like breaking down a novel might be. Spoilers are about to happen, so if you haven't read the novella but plan to, go do so! I'll wait.

The interesting thing about All Systems Red is that the first domino is set up in Murderbot's backstory, before the events of this novella even begin. Murderbot has hacked their governor module, allowing them to make their own decisions, rather than having to do whatever their human crew tells them. And because Murderbot has hacked their module, they've downloaded and watched a gazillion hours worth of shows, picking up on all sorts of interesting ideas and learning more about human interactions. Murderbot also can't let anyone know they've hacked their module, otherwise they will most likely have that module yanked out and a functioning one put in. That little bit of backstory gets a lot of the plot going right off the bat. There's more backstory related to why Murderbot hacked their governor module, but the reader doesn't need to know this at the beginning of the story.

The story opens with Murderbot wanting to go back to the solitude of the habitat to watch shows, but they're out on an expedition with some crew members, providing help and protection as needed. The two crew members are in a crater when there's an explosion as a giant, heretofore unknown hostile beast leaps out of the ground. In the opening scene of the story, I counted five chains (not including the one that comes in the backstory, namely, the hacked governor module). Those chains are:

-Because there's an explosion in the crater where Dr. Bharadwaj and Dr. Volescu are working, Murderbot jumps in to help (immediate consequence where Murderbot puts their own self in danger).

-Because Murderbot jumps into a hostile beast's mouth to pull out Dr. Bharadwaj and shoot the creature, they lose part of their armor and a good chunk of their arm (immediate consequence leading to complications later in this scene, AND sets up consequences later when Murderbot has to wear regular clothes instead of armor, making them vulnerable both physically and emotionally during a conversation with the crew).

-Because Dr. Volescu is in shock and won't move, and because Murderbot is carrying an injured Dr. Bharadwaj, they remove their face shield to show their human face and talk to Dr. Volescu like they've seen in their shows, getting him to climb out of the crater to safety; a SecUnit with a functioning governor module would not normally do this (ongoing consequences; the crew sees Murderbot's face and realizes they are very much human-like, if not 100% organic, which leads to the crew trying to talk to Murderbot about their feelings... awkward!).

-Because Murderbot can't put Dr. Bharadwaj down due to injuries, they're invited into the ship cabin, which is normally for humans only, creating a lot of feelings of awkwardness for Murderbot who normally likes to remain unnoticed (immediate consequences, forcing Murderbot into a space they hadn't been in before, and forcing them to remain close to the crew).

-Because Murderbot doesn't have a functioning governor module, when Dr. Ratthi says he'll go out and grab the equipment left behind, they shout, "No!" although at the same time as the humans, so this isn't quite noticed by the crew, and they all take off just before a hostile bursts out of the ground for the ship (this isn't such a strong chain because there aren't any significant consequences since the crew doesn't really notice this unusual behavior, but it keeps Murderbot on edge; so maybe this isn't a chain after all, or maybe it's a beat that could have been strengthened by having a crew member actually notice this.)

In the second scene of the first chapter, there are only three chains. The second scene has less action and is more about Murderbot making repairs to their body and the crew starting to figure out what happened. Subsequent chapters and scenes have fewer chains, too, until the middle of the novella, and then later during the climax, where the tension rises and the stakes rise.

So, in moments of greater tension, there are more chains. And, a lot of the actions taken by Murderbot in this first scene lead to consequences throughout the novella in addition to having more immediate consequences. Murderbot's actions have consequences for both external and internal conflict. For instance, because Murderbot removed their face shield and talked Dr. Volescu out of the crater, the crew hones in on that when they watch video of the incident later, remarking how unusual it is. And, they've never seen Murderbot's face before. It's a real moment of vulnerability for Murderbot, and it leads to a lot of awkward discussions with the crew as they try to get to know their SecUnit better, which is the last thing Murderbot wants.

In moments with fewer chains, the story delves more into world building, moments of characterization, or exposition. Murderbot still makes choices in those instances, some of which lead to deepening relationships with the crew members, some which lead to how they plan to stay alive, giving the story the feeling that things are moving along even though there isn't much action.

I think it's much easier to set up a strong causal chain before writing the story, but analysis afterwards can certainly point out weak areas. I think it's also easy to fool one's self into thinking there's a causal chain when there isn't. Actions like those outlined above should have lingering consequences to make for stronger chains (and a stronger narrative). And, they should make things worse for the protagonist, like making a Murderbot feel uneasy about talking about their feelings.

The One Year Anniversary None of Us Wanted

Getting outdoors kept me sane

 It's been roughly one year since things began shutting down in the United States due to Covid. March 13th was the last day my son went to in person school, and he has yet to return, although he begins hybrid school at the beginning of April. I cancelled my family's trip to Hawaii which, had we followed through with, would have been cut short by several days as the islands started booting people out. Instead, I worked, and I tried to navigate ever changing information about the virus and how to prevent catching it and spreading it. My patients began cancelling, saying they wanted to minimize exposure to people. I wondered how long the world would be like this, how long we would remain isolated. That was one of the worst aspects, not knowing when it would end. It's the ending that makes it easier to endure unpleasant, painful things.

The apocalypse is pretty

I took up cross stitching to pass the time. I re-read my favorite series because it had been a while, and the books always bring me comfort (the Vorkosigan series by Lois McMaster Bujold). I watched the Marvel movies in chronological order. I watched the Star Wars movies in an alternate order, starting with A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back, then watching the prequels as if they were a flashback, then resuming them in order. Rogue One was somewhere in there, although I forget where. I tried watching Tiger King and couldn't get into it at all; everybody seemed so sad and desperate, and I couldn't get past their pain. I watched as police officers kneeled on George Floyd long enough to kill him, breaking my heart and the hearts of so many others. I watched people I had known all my life fall victim to conspiracy theories. I watched people shrug off Covid deaths because they happened (mostly) to older people and those with medical conditions making them more vulnerable. I watched as fires ate across the western U.S. and came as close as seven miles of my home, prompting me to pack bags with essentials just in case we had to leave. I watched in amazement as scientists worked tirelessly to come up with vaccines for Covid in record breaking time. I watched an election, and I watched people rage against the results, culminating in the embarrassing spectacle at the Capitol in early January.

At this point, I've received both of my vaccinations. Most of my immediate family has been vaccinated, as have many of my elderly patients. Businesses are starting to open up, although I remain somewhat leery about jumping in. I got to know my neighbors much, much better because there was nowhere to go for the longest time. We just sort of started getting together outdoors, keeping our distance, masking up. We shared food, tea, cleaning supplies. Our kids kept their distance outdoors and rode their bikes and scooters, drew with chalk, kicked balls. Getting to know them has been one of the bright spots in this pandemic, as has the new meditation practice I began in November.

Thank goodness for pets during lockdown

Things will never get back to pre-pandemic normal, but people will soon be able to gather again. Concerts and sporting events will return. Movie theaters will someday be packed with people for opening night of a new blockbuster movie. Airports will be busy, flights will be packed. Masks will eventually go away, although since I was not sick at all last year (for the first time in a long time), I probably will not give up mask wearing completely. I like not being sick. And as the Dread Pirate Roberts said, "It's just that masks are terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future."

What I'm looking forward to most is returning to the dojo to practice kendo with my friends, going to a concert, going to a basketball game or a football game, traveling on a plane with a nice alcoholic beverage as I begin my vacation, running a race with a bunch of other runners and people cheering us on. There is still no definite end to this ordeal, no specific date when we can declare victory, but there is the sense that it will end, which is a far better place to be than we were a year ago.

February 2021 Reading Challenge

February is a short month, but I still managed to read a few books in honor of Black History Month. One of those books was as long as the month is short--A Promised Land, by Barack Obama. In it, President Obama details some of the time in his youth and leading up to his run for President, and he covers part of his presidency. It's a fascinating look into one of the most powerful positions in the world, and a fascinating look into the mind of one of the most brilliant people to hold the position. At times it can be tedious, and I think anyone interested in delving deeply into politics will enjoy every sentence, but on the whole it's a good read.

The Girl Who Smiled Beads by Clemantine Wamariya is a memoir of a woman who fled Rwanda with her older sister when she was six years old. For the next six years they moved from one refugee camp to another, lived for a while with her sister's husband's family, until they finally found themselves in the U.S. with a foster family. This is beautifully written, and the prose is absolutely magical, and so it makes the horrific parts all that much worse. This one really stayed with me, and I continue to think about Clemantine often.

The Gilded Ones by Namina Forna is a YA fantasy novel about ostracized young women who bleed gold, have superhuman strength and speed, and are trained to fight against Deathshrieks. This novel was just plain fun, and I can't wait for the second in the series.

I rounded out the month with The Killing Moon by N.K. Jemisin. Holy wow, can that woman write. I found the novel a little dense at first, but once I got the hang of the world and the religion, I tore through the story. This one had been sitting in my TBR pile for a while, in part because I wasn't sure I was in the mood to read something about sleep and dreaming. But oh, this is so much more than that. Jemisin never pulls any punches in her stories, which is what makes me read them with one hand over my eyes, peeking through my fingers, hoping against hope that her poor characters will make it through unscathed. Reader, they never do.

January 2021 Reading Challenge

I'm not one for making New Year's Resolutions. But around the new year, I often think about things I might want to improve, or bad habits to get rid of or, better yet, good habits to form. This year I wanted to read more, so I joined a reading challenge meant to inspire readers to "read around the world."

January is all about truth bombs, or nonfiction. I read The Girls of Atomic City: The Untold Story of the Women Who Helped Win World War II by Denise Kiernan. This book focused on Oak Ridge, Tennessee during WWI, a city built from scratch to help create the atomic bomb. I've learned plenty about Los Alamos and its role in making the bomb, having lived in New Mexico for years, but knew next to nothing about Oak Ridge. I was amazed at how quickly the city and factories were put together, and the toll taken on the people living and working there was heartbreaking. People suffered from depression from keeping secrets, from being far from family in some cases, and from the stress of never knowing exactly what they were doing or contributing to. The book didn't focus as much on individual women as I had hoped, and seemed to touch only shallowly on their lives, and so I found it somewhat disappointing.

I listened to We Keep the Dead Close: A Murder at Harvard and a Half Century of Silence by Becky Cooper. The author attended Harvard herself, and after hearing a somewhat urban legend-ish story about the murder of Jane Britton which occurred in the late 1960s, became obsessed with the unsolved crime. The novel provides an in-depth look into the history of Harvard, its anthropology department, Jane's life, feminism, the challenges women face in academia, and how we study and interpret history. It's an extremely well researched story, and by the end you find out who murdered Jane, so don't worry that you'll be left wondering.

I also listened to The Beauty in Breaking by Michele Harper. Dr. Harper is an emergency room physician who grew up in an abusive family. In talking about her childhood and her experiences as an ER doctor, she shows how people break in so many ways, and how people put themselves back together, over and over again. As I listened to her memoir, I kept thinking of kintsugi, or the Japanese tradition of fixing broken pottery with gold or silver. The result is a unique piece with a beauty all its own. I feel like Dr. Harper has done this with her life, and in doing so has provided an example for all of us.

Next up in February, I'll be reading novels by contemporary Black authors. I have a mixture of fiction and non-fiction lined up, and I'm looking forward to all of them!

My Favorite Books of 2020

This year has been a hard year, for all of us, and for varying reasons. One of my escapes is reading. This year I ended up rereading a favorite series of mine at the beginning of the pandemic, and I picked up some new books after I went through my reread. So, for those of you looking for recommendations, here are the books I enjoyed the most this year.

My favorite bookstore

Running with Sherman, by Christopher McDougall - This is the latest book from the barefoot running guy. In this one, he writes about a donkey he rescued from a bad situation and rehabilitated through love, care, attention, and running. Did you know there are races where people run with their donkeys? You don't need to be a runner to enjoy this book. It's heart warming and will bring a smile to your face.

The Strange Case of the Alchemist's Daughter by Theodora Goss - This is the first in a series about the monstrous daughters of mad scientists coming together to form a club and solve mysteries with their friends, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. The books are witty and thought provoking, and it's so lovely to see a story about women coming together in friendship. This series was a delightful escape from the pandemic.

Devolution by Max Brooks - I listened to this one on audio. Quite a few wonderful actors lend their voices to the narration, including Nathan Fillion. This one ended up being a little too close to the pandemic for comfort, but the main character's complete and utter transformation had me riveted, as did the growing sense of horror.

The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow - I listened to this one as well, and right around the time of the election. It was a fitting book for early November in that it dealt with the suffragist movement in addition to magic and witchcraft, friendship and love, and family. I found this book to be so powerful, so tender, and so well written that I despaired of ever writing anything as wonderful.

The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett - A patient recommended this book to me, and I picked it up the next time I went to the bookstore. It follows African-American twins growing up in 1950's Louisiana. One girl chooses to pass as white, marries a white man, and disappears from her family's life while the other marries a black man and lives in the same small town where she grew up. The book explores race, identity, family, and racial injustice, and although it's set in the 1950's through the 1990's, it is one hundred percent relevant to today's world.

And that series I read at the beginning of the pandemic? Lois McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan series, beginning with Shards of Honor. I love the larger-than-life characters, the way Bujold has given them all such realistic quirks and flaws and yet made them so lovable, the vast scope and history to this world. I've read the first few books quite a few times, and the newer ones less often. It's been about twenty years since I first read the series (as it existed back then), so I've had ample opportunity to read them time and again. They're my comfort, my security blanket, my happy place.

I would love to hear about the books that helped you get through this year.

The Story Behind the Story

 It's been a while since I had a story come out. I spent much of the past year working on a novel, and before that I spent a couple of years finishing my doctorate. There simply wasn't much time or mental energy to produce new words of short fiction. But I have a new story out in Issue 7 of DreamForge Magazine, which has produced some lovely work.

"The Limits of the Human Heart" is an ode to several matters close to my own heart. First, it's about running. I have been running for about seven years now, and I have countless 5Ks, 10Ks, and a couple of half marathons behind me. Running has helped my health, both physically and mentally. When I have a good run, it's just a good feeling. And even when I have a bad run, after it's over, I'm always glad to have done it. I've never run an ultramarathon, like my character, but I love that there are people out there pushing the limits of the human body. For a couple of great documentaries on running very long distances, try the one on the Barkley Marathon on Netflix, or Breaking2 on Disney Plus. The Barkley Marathon is just pure fun to learn about because the organizer is so quirky and brings his personality to it. Breaking2 is about the attempt to break the two hour barrier for running a marathon, and part of it was filmed right here in Beaverton, OR. You don't need to be a runner to appreciate either one.

The story is also about dying. I was there for both of my parents' deaths, and I have a lot of thoughts on death and dying, and how it's handled, how it's faced. There's really something to be said for preparing for death ahead of time. Make the decisions when you're healthy and able so that your loved ones don't have to make them for you. We can all choose a good death, and that starts with living a good life today, right now. This week I've come across a quote from Seneca several times, and since it's apt for this story, I'll share it. "Let us prepare our minds as if we'd come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life's books each day. The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time."

My story might seem like a real downer, on the surface at least. But what it's really about is the ability to forge on in the face of death, which we all do every day. It's about making moments count. It's about finding joy and peace wherever it might be, even at the very end, and about how good it can feel to let it all go. I hope you enjoy it.

Serenity Now!

 This year has been a big challenge for everybody. Like a lot of other people, I found myself dealing with some huge stressors. I've had to deal with the pandemic, with the election, with the death of George Floyd and all that it exposed, with fires, with worrying about jobs and child care and schooling. At one point, my skin was itching and patching over, and I felt like I was going to literally turn into a fire breathing dragon. While I love dragons, the process of turning into one is not so great. The last time my skin reacted like this was when my mother died, so yes, there's been a LOT of stress this year.

Not how it should feel

Without having kendo to turn to in order to help mitigate my stress, I have relied on running, and I recently tried one other activity that I've tried in the past and miserably failed at--meditation.

I had a lot of preconceived ideas about meditation going in. It should make me feel calm and peaceful, and I shouldn't have any thoughts at all. My mind should be a tranquil blank. Right? Riiiiight. In the past--and a few weeks ago when I picked it up again--every time I have started meditating, I have become a huge ball of rage, and it scared me. Where was the peace and calm? Why was I turning into the biggest jerk ever? What was wrong with me???

Reader, nothing was wrong with me. Apparently, when you start examining your emotions instead of walling them off, you find... some interesting things.

So, this time around I picked up a book called Meditation Now by Elizabeth Reninger. I've only made it through the first part of the book, but it's a pretty good, low-key introduction to meditation. There's no pressure to do it "right," just to get started, at least in the initial part of the book. I also recently listened to the audio book Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty. It was a pretty good listen, and it helped me think about, well, thinking, in a different way. What really stood out to me was the difference he showed between what he called the "monk mind" and the "monkey mind." Your monk mind is your friend. Your monkey mind is about as useful at keeping you out of trouble as an actual monkey.

Both of these books were helpful for getting me past the initial ragey, stabby feeling that meditation had always brought on. Right at the best possible moment, a friend recommended an app called "Waking Up" by Sam Harris. I've tried a meditation app before ("Headspace," which has many positive reviews, but also made me feel... yep, you guessed it, raaaaaage). At this point, I'm nearly done with the introductory lessons, and I've meditated every day for a little over a month. I'm happy to say, meditation no longer leaves me feeling like Godzilla on steroids. Maybe it's because there's not as much focus on what I think--or rather, thought--meditation should be, and more on just letting go of my preconceived ideas and trusting in the learning process. That's something I learned in kendo--what I'm doing might not make sense, but it will. Eventually. Trust the process.

How it should feel

So I'm finally starting to get past those preconceived notions of what I should feel like when meditating. I've begun learning about paying attention to the right things, to getting out of my head, to labeling my emotions and my emotional state, and I've been learning humility. None of these things are what I thought meditation should be like, but they have all brought me a sense of acceptance and calm. I feel like I'm just starting to grasp the things I should be getting out of the practice, and it will take a lifetime to figure out anything, but so far, I've had far fewer knee jerk reactions to what's going on in my life, and I dwell far less on the negative. It's... rather amazing, actually.

I'm not sure what took me so long to get to even this point, where I feel like I've taken the first step on a journey walking to the moon. Regardless, I'm here, and I'm happy to be here, and happy to be learning something new. I hope sharing my experience and these resources help somebody.

The Accidental Martial Artist

A few years ago I had this idea for a novel with a main character who is a former swordswoman. When I started planning the novel I imagined it would have a couple of fight scenes. Problem was, I had never done anything more than swing a light saber around a few times with friends. So I thought, "Hey, here's a chance to learn how to sword fight and call it research!" I considered different styles; the European broadsword wasn't the right feel, not for a swordswoman who was part of a cadre of other swordswomen. Then I considered fencing, but again, the European style didn't have the right feel for what I wanted, although fencing was closer. And then I remembered kendo, which was something I'd first heard of about years earlier.

I had just moved to the Portland, OR area. I searched for kendo in Portland and found a club. They offered a beginner's class three times a year, and a new class would be starting soon. So I signed up, thinking I could take the beginner's class and have enough experience to convincingly write a couple of fight scenes. I had no desire at the time to go any further because I never thought of myself as someone who would enjoy martial arts, and I assumed that all I needed to understand were some basic mechanics and sensations so I could describe the fights realistically. Little did I know...

I was pretty content with my life when I started kendo, but I soon realized that it filled something that I didn't even realize had been missing. It was more than just sword fighting, or a sport, or exercise. It was a way of thinking, of analyzing myself and the world around me, of challenging myself, of coping with anxiety. I started reading books on martial arts and articles on kendo and watching videos of shiai, or matches. What I thought would be a temporary activity became something that boosted my confidence and changed my way of thinking. And that, in turn, changed how I thought of my main character, a lot. I realized I had her, well, not all wrong, but incomplete. Shallow. There were many more depths to her than I had realized. So I scrubbed what little I'd written and went back to the drawing board. And I continued in kendo.

My involvement in kendo ended up helping me create a detailed backstory for my main character, which led to a lot I could draw upon in the present while writing from her point of view. I picked up quite a few books on martial arts to learn more about kendo, and they gave me more insight into my main character as well. Some of the most helpful ones include The Unfettered Mind by Takuan Soho, translated by William Scott Wilson; The Zen Way to the Martial Arts by Taisen Deshimaru; and Zen in the Martial Arts by Joe Hyams. The Unfettered Mind, in particular, has a lot of wisdom tucked into a small volume. And perhaps you can see that there's a pattern to these books, namely, that they all have to do with the mind, and not with raw strength or fighting skill. That was the first lesson I had to learn, and I have to keep learning it over and over. My original fight scenes? Gone. But what I have now? It's much better, in my humble opinion.

Dusting Off the Blog

 It's been about four years since I last blogged. There are a lot of reasons for the silence. My family and I moved to the Pacific Northwest. I went back to school to earn my Doctorate. My mom died. And there were a lot of other things filling up my time and taking my attention. But over the past few months, dealing with this pandemic, I've been readjusting my time. I've been on social media way too much. I feel much better when I'm not on it, but at the same time, I like seeing pictures of people's pets and kids and knowing that they're all doing all right, or maybe feeling the same sense of frustration and despair, or finding joy despite all we're going through. I guess, for me, starting this up again is my version of whistling in the dark.

Before, this blog was about a little bit of everything, from writing to running to whatever I thought people might find interesting. I'm going to continue in that vein, but most likely I'll focus on writing and the books I've read. I've learned a lot over the past four years, but there's still much to go, and it helps to put it all down. But for this particular entry, I'm going to do a book review. Or rather, a review of a series I just finished.

I read through The Extraordinary Adventures of the Athena Club, a series by Theodora Goss, that follows several intrepid young women who all have one thing in common--they're all monsters, in a way. You may recognize some of the names of the members of the Athena Club--there's Mary Jekyll, Diana Hyde, Beatrice Rappaccini, Catherine Moreau, Justine Frankenstein, Lucinda Van Helsing, and Alice/Lydia Raymond. They're joined by Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson in their adventures, as well as others along the way. The series combines some of the early fantastic works of fiction to create an atmosphere that is simultaneously delightful, lightly romantic, poignant, spooky, and mysterious. The Athena Club is like Scooby Doo meets Nancy Drew. It was pure, wonderful escapism for coping with the current Covid-19 pandemic, but it was deeper than that as it commented on feminism, science, eugenics, and what it means to be family.

The second book in the series is the largest, by far, and a bit intimidating to pick up. But it was the one I flew through the quickest. There are some slow moments in the overall series, but nothing that made me want to put the books down permanently, and the characters were all so compelling that I could probably spend a good amount of time just "watching" them do the mundane tasks of their day. That is, when they're not going on adventures.

It's good to be blogging again. I let my website go because I hadn't published anything new in a long while. But I have a short story coming out later this year, and I'm working furiously on a new novel that will be part of a duology. More on that later! For now, I hope you find a good book to sink into that will let you forget about the really world for a little while.

Two Literary Greats Talk Writing, Terror, and Rats

This past Thursday, Stephen King made a stop in Albuquerque during his book tour for his latest release, End of Watch, which is the final book in his trilogy about retired detective Bill Hodges and the Mercedes Killer. I was unbelievably excited when I found out he'd be in town. And then I found out that George R. R. Martin would interview King. How often does one have the chance to hear two literary powerhouses riff off one another? My excitement doubled.

The crowd was filled with all types, and with people from all over. A guy down the row from me was wearing a white shirt covered with blood stains. Surprisingly, there weren't many people in costume or spooky attire. But everyone seemed filled with anticipation for the moment the two authors came out on stage.

I found it amusing that both men had East Coast accents. Jersey vs Maine was entertaining. Apparently they've known each other for decades, and it showed in their easy exchanges. They spoke for an hour, although it felt like they were up there for fifteen minutes. The crowd let out a groan of disappointment when King announced they'd have to wrap it up soon.

King started by admitting he had put off reading the Song of Ice and Fire books for a long time. But one day he ended up with excruciating pain from sciatica and was laid up for a while, so he told himself, "I'll try one of these fucking George Martin books," and as he put it, it blew him away.

Both authors write some pretty dark stuff. I've read the Song of Ice and Fire series, and I watched the show until the episode with the Red Wedding. It was hard enough to read it, so I certainly didn't want to see it. Instead, I sat in the other room while my husband watched, and I cringed at the sounds. King has also disturbed me and made me feel uncomfortable. He digs into the darkest recesses of human nature and holds those dark things to the light for the reader to examine. I didn't write this particular bit down, so I'm not sure who said it, but I think Martin was prompting King to say that if you can't do terror in a story, go for horror. If you can't do horror, go for the gross out. Both have certainly made their way up and down that scale many times.

And this brings about how both of them had stories about rats early on in their careers. Or, as Martin put it, "Rats have been good to us." And then Martin asked the big question: "How do you write so many books so fast?" This won a big laugh from the audience. King said that when he's working on a project, he writes six pages a day, and he writes for three to four hours. He tries to make those pages as polished as he can. It takes him roughly two months to finish a project at this pace.

Toward the beginning of their talk, they both plugged their own work, and King plugged his son's work. I found it amusing that even though they were big name authors, they still felt the need to do the shameless plug. And although Martin laughed about King's productivity, I don't think he was entirely joking. I think there's some... if not outright jealousy, then wistfulness there. They've won awards and they sell tons of books, but I get the feeling that not-so-deep-down, they're just as neurotic and uncertain as any other writer. It's comforting, actually.

Guest Post with Jeff Provine

Today I'd like to welcome Jeff Provine to the blog to speak a bit about points of departure when it comes to writing the 'what ifs' of alternative history. His new steampunk book, Hellfire, comes out this week.  Read on to find out more.

* * *

Alternate History (or “alternative history” for the grammatically strict) is a burgeoning genre. It is by no means anything new—people have been asking “what if things had gone a little differently?” since the days of Job wondering why he had been cursed. Two thousand years ago, the Roman scholar Livy discussed the ancient Alexander the Great, pondering what might have been if the great conqueror had marched west against the Roman Republic instead of storming the Persian Empire. In accordance with Roman pride, Livy of course suggested that they would defeated him.

Whether it’s called alternate history, alternative history, or the scholarly studies of counterfactual history, all of it begins with a “what if?” The most common what ifs stem from big events, such as what if the South had won the American Civil War or what if Nazi Germany had won World War II? A lot of alternate history immediately jumps into the fallout from such a change, not worrying about the details. Depending on the story, the details of how exactly the change occurred might not be as important as describing the changed world where, say, the western trenches of World War I stretch from the Appalachians to the Rockies or struggles against censorship in an America patrolled by the SS.

When crafting an alternate history, however, it is important to determine the “POD” that acts as the change to the timeline. POD stands for “Point of Divergence” or “Point of Departure,” depending on taste. I personally enjoy “departure” as it illustrates the hypothetical journey that you are about to take as you map a new timeline.

Like a butterfly being killed in the age of the dinosaurs or a drop of water trickling down the hand of a paleobotanist, when one little thing changes, the whole course of events change. Knowing how that first change happens is key to determining what the world will become, so do your research all about the people, places, and events circling around what you plan to change.

With the classic “what if the South won the Civil War?” example, there are numerous different takes on what exactly caused the South to win. One of the most popular is Confederate General Robert E. Lee winning the Battle of Gettysburg. Some writers and alternate historians get even more detailed, talking about the artillery barrage just before Pickett’s Charge or Union General Meade’s individual reaction. Once the change happens, the writer can follow through with its impact on 1863: Meade retreats, Lee seizes the railhead at Harrisburg to cut Washington, D.C., off from the rest of the country, and the draft riots in New York City intensify (these happened the week after Gettysburg, which shows that not all Northerners were eager to keep the war going). The anti-war sentiment spreads until the North demands an end to the war.

In my latest alternate history Hellfire (releasing June 8 from Tirgearr Publishing), there are arguably two PODs. The background steampunk world begins when Isaac Newton discovers a crystalline catalyst that makes fires burn hotter than they should for the fuel present. Newton, called “last of the magicians” by John Maynard Keynes, wrote more than a million words about chemistry, and rumors say that a lot more of his work was burned in an accidental fire. Circa 1700 during Newton’s lifetime, such a discovery might be little more than a parlor trick or a curiosity, like much of Robert Boyle’s work with gasses. As the industrial revolution begins, though, “free” heat from a fire is world-changing.

With ultra-efficient fires thanks to the catalyst, steam engines become much more powerful with less coal or wood needed to boil water. Factories can churn out more goods more cheaply. Further, without needing to haul fuel around, transportation booms as locomotives and steamboats conquer distance with ease. A powerful furnace not needing so much fuel could heat up ambient air to fill a balloon, giving rise to airships in the sky. Since the catalyst is such a powerful technology, it of course is a carefully guarded industrial secret, manufactured in one location by a cult-like workforce so dedicated that many people whisper some of them never leave the factory.

There are plenty more superstitions about the catalyst. It gives the fire it burns in a foul odor, reeking of rot and sulfur. Many people won’t even have it in the house. Some say that amid the roar of the flames, they can hear voices that whisper evil ideas. Those who spend a good deal of time near fires using catalyst go mad, often violently. Over the course of generations, this “Stoker’s Madness” is accepted as a part of life, a trade for having trains, factories, and airships. New mental institutions are put up near industrial centers.

Following the Law of Conservation of Energy, the extra heat has to come from somewhere. People say the catalyst acts as a wormhole, opening gates into hell itself, leaching the heat of the Lake of Fire while it lets slip the words of the damned.

With all this as background for the setting, the more obvious POD in Hellfire is the state of Gloriana. In 1806, Aaron Burr, of the famous Hamilton-Burr Duel, bought a huge parcel of land known as the Bastrop Tract in what is today northern Louisiana. In our own timeline, he was arrested for treason with suspicion of conspiracy toward sparking a war with Spain, and the colony fell apart.

For Hellfire, however, Burr successfully defended himself before Congress with such vigor that he not only won attention for his colony but embarrassed Thomas Jefferson and his supporters for legal shenanigans, causing James Madison to lose the 1808 election. There is then no war of 1812, and instead American-British relations improve as Burr spends a great deal of money importing Newton’s Catalyst to establish a city of industry at Lake Providence on the western banks of the Mississippi. The settlement grows into a territory and finally Gloriana, a powerhouse in the western South. Yet progress comes at a cost: people work endless hours pursuing wealth, and stagnant putrid clouds from the many catalyst-driven fires linger over the city.

Hellfire opens in 1856 with Newton’s Catalyst practically commonplace around Gloriana. Then something more than whispers begins to break through, as seen in this excerpt from chapter 1:

* * *

Even with the gushing hot wind from the furnace, Nate shivered. He lifted his boot from the pedal and let the doors swing shut again.

“Everything all right?” Jones called.

Nate shook his head slowly. “No. I don’t know what it is, but it’s not right. There’s something in the fire.”

“Can you dump it with the ashpan?”

Nate kept shaking his head. “I don’t think so.”

A jarring bang rang from the firebox doors. Nate jumped back and held up his shovel like a weapon.

The doors rattled again, and then the one on the right shifted open just a crack. A fresh sound of wailing poured into the cab. Something not quite black and not quite gray slithered out like a headless snake.

“What is that?” Jones screamed.

Nate swung at it with the shovel, whacking it with the dull side. A roar like the wind out of a cave came from the firebox.

Jones screamed louder, “What was that?”

The tendril grew longer and pushed back the firebox door. Steadily, fighting the weight of the heavy door, the thing climbed out of the firebox. The tendril was like a tail reaching from a shoulder. Its five other legs were segmented like a spider’s, but its body was fat and grotesque like nothing Nate had ever seen. It had eyes, shining, black eyes that blinked all over its bulbous body.

It cleared the door and fell to the metal plate floor of the cab. Sounds came off it: gurgling, whining, and guttural spitting. Nate stood frozen, watching the horror as it squirmed.

Jones jumped forward and stomped it with his boot.

The thing squealed and wrapped its legs around Jones’s boot, somehow bending them backward by twisting its own knees out of socket. Jones gave a horrified shriek. He stomped again and again, but the thing didn’t seem to get hurt.

Nate shot forward with his shovel. “Hold still!”

Jones froze with his leg in midair. The thing held tight around his boot.

Nate whacked it with his shovel again. It gave another unholy rumbling scream. Several of its legs came loose and wagged in the air.

Nate lifted his shovel and stabbed downward with the blade, running it just underneath Jones’s sole. It caught the thing on its belly or back, Nate didn’t know if he could call it either of those, and the force was enough to shove it off.

The thing fell to the floor again and writhed.

“Throw it back in!” Jones shouted. He had pushed himself against the side of the cab as far as he could.

Nate whacked it again with his shovel and then scooped it up. Its legs wriggled, but they didn’t seem able to grab hold of the blade. He stomped on the pedal to open the firebox.

The heat and wailing of the flames leaped out at him. Nate fought past and shoved the thing back inside. He stomped the release and sealed the doors again with a clang.

* * *

Hellfire is available on Kindle US, Kindle UK, Smashwords, Apple, Kobo, and Nook. Check out more alternate timelines from Jeff at his blog, This Day in Alternate History.

Splurges

Oh, boy, this week I'm going to reveal the things I splurge on. These items are my Kryptonite. Dangle any one of them in front of me, and I'm as good as gone.

My primary indulgence is Starbucks. Specifically, Americanos. I don't particularly care to get a plain old cup of coffee when I go in there, and I don't want to get one of their liquid deserts. Tasty as a white chocolate mocha can be, I don't want that much sugar in my body. So Americano it is, with some half-and-half and some Splenda. Conveniently, there's a Starbucks right near my work, so I can pop in whenever I have a moment, or on my way to work.

When I want to indulge in a quick, tasty desert, I head for the bakery at Whole Foods. I love their chantilly lace cake, their key lime pie, their chocolate cake, their cheesecakes, and their chocolate salted caramels. I've, er, tried just about every desert in that place. And the one near my house just opened a bar. Imagine, if you will, a slice of their pizza, a slice of cake, and a glass of red wine. Oh, heaven.

Me every time I walk in a bookstore.

And I splurge on books, too, of course. I will drop money on a bunch of books like I'm toting around Bill Gates's wallet. I'll wonder if spending $50 at the grocery store is necessary, but I won't question spending that much at the bookstore.

Tackling the To-Be-Read Pile

I've skipped blogging the last few weeks due to various reasons, but this week I'm picking up with the series of posts on #listifylife. This one is really close to my heart. I'm supposed to talk about the top three books in my To Be Read pile. This is also a tough one because there are so many books in my TBR pile, and they're all fantastic. But, here are the next three I'd really like to read.

1. Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain by John J. Ratey. Doctors are prescribing exercise and physical therapy more often these days to help with a variety of issues. As a physical therapist, I definitely agree that movement can help with a host of ailments and problems. I'm eager to see what this book talks about and if it covers any new ground.

2. A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay. I love a good, suspenseful, scary book, and this one promises to fulfill on many levels. It just won a Stoker Award, which has bumped this book higher on my list.

3. The third is actually an unknown number of books. I'm researching for a new novel, and much of that research has to do with day-to-day life in ancient Greece. I'm trying to figure out if I can afford a trip to Greece as part of that research. If anybody has a spare five thousand dollars or so lying around, let me know... At any rate, I'm starting with mostly children's books on the subject because (1) they're usually well written without extraneous and boring details, and (2) illustrations! I'm a visual learner, so that helps a lot.

If you'd like a look at my extensive TBR pile, or if you want to see what I'm reading, friend me on Goodreads.

Fifty Years of Women Running the Boston Marathon

It's been fifty years since the first woman ran in the Boston Marathon. I always knew that Bobbi Gibb had a tough time when she ran, that some men weren't happy with her being there, but I had no idea just how hard it was for her. She had written to the marathon officials asking for an application, but their reply was that women were not physiologically capable of running a marathon. So she hid in the bushes near the start, wearing a hoodie as a disguise, and joined the crowd when they started. She worried she might be arrested. Can you imagine?

Physiologically capable

Running is such a basic part of human nature. Running means escaping danger, chasing food, rushing to help someone in need, or that you're having fun. Most little kids love to run. They chase each other, have impromptu races, or run just to enjoy the speed or the feeling of the wind against their skin and in their hair, or simply because it feels good to move. I have a good run when I invoke those childhood sensations, when I think, "Hey, this is fun!" I can't imagine being told, "You're not meant to do this thing that brings you joy."

This past weekend I ran a 5K. It was my first race in inclement weather. It was cold and windy, and it started sprinkling right before we started. When the clouds parted later that day, there was snow on the mountains. Despite the wind and the stinging rain, I had a great time. Despite the fact that I was still getting over being sick, I improved upon my pace. There's something wonderfully primitive about running in a large group. It's like being part of a pack. There's a sense of safety, of camaraderie, of friendly competition. We ran through some fields near the Rio Grande River. I spotted geese and ducks in a field that was being flooded, and a couple of horses. I got to run through a neighborhood I'd never been in before. I finished the race and had a delicious slice of cinnamon swirl raisin bread and chocolate milk as I trekked back to my car. It was great.

I cannot imagine being told 'no' to something like that. I'm glad that the running world, and the world in general, has changed its attitude toward women. I'm glad that Bobbi Gibb had the guts to sneak into a race. The world needs people who refuse to take 'no' for an answer.

I'm a Spelling Bee Failure

Nearly every person has a hard time spelling certain words. There's one in particular that crops up for me from time to time as I'm making my grocery list. Deodorant. Somehow I keep wanting to write it as deoderant. I keep forgetting that 'odor' is a key part of that word. Doh! Fortunately, I'm much better at remembering to put the stuff on than I am at remembering how to spell it when I'm making my list of necessities.

Thank goodness for editors

And what's up with fuchsia??? Somebody screwed up the three letters in the middle there. I always want to put the 's' in front of the 'ch.' A quick jaunt over to the dictionary tells me that the word comes from modern Latin and was named in honor of a German botanist by the name of Leonhard Fuchs. Okay, I have a dirty mind, but tell me you can't say that name aloud and not giggle. Now every time your kid pulls that crayon out of the box, you're going to laugh because your mind is as entrenched in the gutter as mine.

And one other thing I always screw up isn't necessarily spelling, but... hyphens throw me for a loop. I either leave them out when they need to be there, or I stick them where they have no business existing. I worked with an excellent editor for my urban fantasy trilogy The Necromancer's Inheritance, and he dinged me on hyphens. A lot. I am hyphen challenged. That should probably actually be hyphen-challenged. But I have no idea because I am horrible at knowing when to use them. I mean, the word hyphenated does not have a hyphen. But the word non-hyphenated does. It's amazing people can communicate in English at all.

It's the Little Things

"I don't have to take a trip around the world or be on a yacht in the Mediterranean to have happiness. I can find it in the little things, like looking out into my backyard and seeing deer in the fields."
                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                              -- Queen Latifah

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Queen Latifah, she's wise.

One of my happy places

I've blogged before about keeping a tiny journal where you write a sentence or two a day. I tend to keep it focused on the positive, although some days I just need to put down the awful things that happened. I've been writing in it for over a year, and now I get to look back at last year's posts as I add new ones. I've gotten better at noticing the little things that make my day brighter, and I often think, "This is what I'll put in my journal tonight." And while it's great to take big trips (I sure wouldn't turn down some time on a yacht in the Mediterranean), those things are few and far between. I think it's important to find happiness whenever you can. So I wanted to share some of the little things that make me happy. Indulge me as I make a list:

Coffee in the morning when there's no rush to go anywhere
Gardening/getting my hands in dirt
A good run
My son's laughter and his smile (that's really the best thing in the world)
Reading a good book
Planning a vacation
When I come up with a really good line while writing (I feel so smart! It makes up for the other times when I bang my head against the desk because I can't find the right words.)
Being outside
A nice sunset
Reaching traffic lights at just the right moment
Browsing through a bookstore

Focusing on the little things that make me happy keep the nasty inner voices away. Sometimes I'm wracked with doubt as a writer or a parent or even as a human being trying to navigate the world. Sometimes I'm depressed. That's when the voices are the worst. But writing down the good things, thinking about the good things, reliving them all serve to keep those voices silent. I encourage you to go make a list of the little things that make you happy, especially if you're having a rough day.

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"It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important."

                                                                                                         -- Arthur Conan Doyle