Filling the Well During Pandemics

 There's a term I learned at the Odyssey Writing Workshop years ago--filling the well. It means, essentially, that you fill your life with experience, ideas, moments, and anything that will go on to serve as story fodder. In the past I've used, as inspiration: things my son has said, new places I've visited (like a Yucatan cenote), current events, strong emotions that stuck with me. Now, this isn't to say you should do things for the sake of writing stories. But anything can become an idea, which can become a story.

Devil's Punchbowl on Oregon Coast

What happens during a pandemic, though? For the better part of a year and a half, I found my world vastly constricted. I worked, I went home, I hurried through my shopping. I no longer lingered in coffee shops, writing new words or overhearing interesting conversations. I no longer ventured out to new places. I no longer met up with friends. I continued to dip into the well, but I wasn't putting much back into it.

One of my goals for this year was to write twelve short stories. I've written nine, and this month I tried writing the tenth. I came at it one way, then another, moving from a humorous satire to something much darker. Neither worked. I finish much of what I write, but not everything. I coax my stories along, but sometimes it feels more like I'm beating my head against the wall, and when I reach that point, as I did with this story, I reluctantly stop. I have to admit to myself that I might not reach that desired number twelve. I have to remind myself that, while I've done some traveling and returned to the dojo this year, I have not yet returned to normal, and I'm trying to draw on a well that is still running low.

What I'm going to do instead is finish up George Saunder's A Swim in a Pond in the Rain, in which he shares some of what he teaches his students about the greats in Russian literature. I am listening to it as an audiobook, which I'm really enjoying. Different narrators read the stories, and Saunders himself, with a wry bit of humor from time to time, reads his lessons. I find listening to the stories and to Saunders seems to let the lessons and the words themselves seep in better. Already I'm looking at my own fiction a little differently, and I'm looking at what I read a little differently.

This week I wrote in a coffeeshop for the first time in nearly two years. It was absolute bliss, even if I set aside what I wrote because it wasn't working. I'm going to do that again, toy around with some ideas, absorb the conversations I overhear, and people watch. I'm going to fill the well a little more, and then try again. It's all any of us can do.

A Year of Meditating

 In November 2020, I took up meditation.

I wrote about it before, shortly after I started. I had a strange reaction to meditation initially. As I wrote back then, I felt a lot of rage and was much more quick to anger than usual. I thought I was doing something wrong. But as it turns out, when you turn attention upon yourself, your mind, and your thoughts, of course that's very uncomfortable.

At this point, I've meditated nearly every day for about a year. I've listened to lectures on meditation. I've done my own mini retreat at home. And I've learned a few things.

First, once I got past the initial extreme discomfort of meditating, which led to so much anger, I found myself getting better at recognizing thoughts and emotions as they popped up, which meant they had less power over me. I became less reactive, which was most noticeable on social media. It's been pretty great, to be honest.

Second, I became a little less wrapped up in myself and felt more compassion for people around me. I was kinder. I had less of a tendency to judge other people and was more forgiving. I've been more generous with my money and my time. That, too, has been pretty great.

Third, I've been more grateful overall and have spent more time noticing the everyday things that make me happy and bring me joy. It's usually something as simple as sitting on my couch with my family with the fireplace on in the winter, or having an uninterrupted stretch of time to read a good book, or watching the gold and red leaves dance on the wind during autumn like fairies. This has also been great!

Fourth, my attention span has improved. Oh, I still get distracted, and I think ultimately I need to cut social media completely out of my life to really see significant improvement, but meditation has helped me focus better.

While I've meditated for a year at this point, I feel like I'm still just scratching the surface. It's certainly a lifelong endeavor, and it's hard to remember to meditate during super stressful situations or throughout the course of a busy day. But I'm gradually getting there. I would like to go on a short retreat one of these days (with other people around, OMG!), or even do another mini retreat on my own.

Some resources I've found helpful:

Waking up with Sam Harris--This is the app I use daily. There's an introductory series as well as other special series, plus a daily meditation. There are guests, a Q&A with Sam, and other tidbits of wisdom.

Ten Percent Happier Podcast with Dan Harris--No relation to Sam Harris. There are lots of great guests, meditations, and other resources here.

Thich Nhat Hanh Foundation--Lots of great resources here, including How To's, apps, trainings, and more.